Tuesday, May 14, 2013

A Particularly Hard Phase of Life

We go through many phases during our lifetime.  Some are exciting and thrilling! Like getting married or having children.  Some are dark and scary. Like the loss of a loved one.  Some are both scary and exciting at the same time!  starting a new job, moving to a new home..

I have gone through many phases in my life....  the most prominent ones were losing my Daddy to cancer, finding the Lord, moving out on my own, getting married, buying a house, having my babies....  not necessarily in that order...   
I have stumbled my way through life and have felt uncertain, scared and very lost at times.  Now is one of those times.  Don't get me wrong, I am thankful to know a loving, forgiving God.  I am thankful that He brought my husband into my life and blessed us with the most amazing children!  I know that God will provide for us, I know that He will take care of us.  However, sometimes knowing that God will be there doesn't stop the horrible feeling that you get deep inside when you know that your life is changing and you feel out of control.  

I am so scared for the future.  I am scared for my kids.  I am supposed to be the strong parent that brings comfort to my children when they are scared about the future.  We are all sad that their school is closing.  I don't know how that fits into God's plans, but I know that He knows the plan.  I see friendships drifting away.  I see a school without God, where kids can't pray together and for each other, talk about their faith and go to Mass together.  I see a future with such changes that I don't see how we fit in. 

How do you comfort a scared child when you are just as scared as they are???

I want to be home with my kids, home school, taking them to daily Mass, to study the bible. Teach them to be loving and giving people.  But what I see is them going to a school that is not where we want our kids to learn, that will take them away from their faith and religion.  All because it is a financially safer choice.

Lord, Help us to see your path for us.  Help me to comfort my scared children.  Help us to make the right choices for them.  Lord take away this lonely, empty feeling inside me.  Please bring loving, christian people in our lives.  Lord help me to be there for my children first and show me how to financially support my family without sacrificing my children.   

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